You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Randomize
