We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize
