She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
This house was built for laser tag.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
