Your dad touched me again.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Randomize
