i love accidental penises.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
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