god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
Randomize
