Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
We had to coat check the pizza.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
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