I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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