So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
vagina is talking i cant
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
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