Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Randomize
