Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
