I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
