The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
