your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
