so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Randomize
