I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
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