Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Randomize
