I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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