Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
