Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Randomize
