No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
