i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
