why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
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