My nipple is on Facebook.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
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