Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
Life is so much better after having sex.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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