walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
