Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
