the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
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