I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
