i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
