you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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