i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
Mom said you looked used
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize
