bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Randomize
