we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
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