It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Randomize
