You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
