i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Randomize
