He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
