when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
