She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
I FOUND THE LEGS
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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