I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Randomize
