I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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