Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
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