Whod you bang
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
