Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
