every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Randomize
