so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I need to sanitize my soul.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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