yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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