i can't believe i had my finger in that
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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