you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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