it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Randomize
