I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
